(sms) eden & pandora.

juan asked me if you were fine.

did you guys have a fight or something?

it wouldn't surprise me, juan is really a fucking asshole just now.  

He can go fuck himself, that's what he can do. If he wants to know how I am doing, why isn't he asking?

Did he say something? Or is he with you currently?

nah he only texted me. "eden you're such a child" bla bla "eden stop being selfish" bla bla, i swear to god i want to punch his face so hard

he lost his balls on the way, i guess

ofc i didn't say anything. no way to give him what he wants anyway 

Ahaha you? Stop being a child? He should learn what "child" means because he can be a dick sometimes. He can go to hell, I'm done with him.

Hope he thinks I'm dying somewhere in a ditch. He keeps calling and texting me since yesterday. Poor boy.

lol he's the only child around there. i swear he can't stop acting like a fucking tyrant with me. and when i don't answer, he hardly ever cries like a little lost kid

what happened with him, pando ? you know you can tell me everything

but you're right. he deserves to struggle a bit. even if he's my bro and i love him, he gets on my nerves. 

I totally agree with you. I mean, you can take of yourself. And you're badass by the way, I know you could kick anyone's ass !

I..It's stupid, really. I went to a bar, had a date. Nothing serious and I don't know how he knew where I would be but he came to that bar and started to tell the guy that he shouldn't even touch me because he had a bad reputation. I went outside with Juan to ask him what the fuck was his problem and he went on and on about the fact I wasn't being careful. That I just slept around, that I shouldn't be doing it. I told him that I didn't need him, that I could handle myself.

I maybe told him that if I died tomorrow, he wouldn't care one bit with his behavior and then we just..Stared at each other before I ran away.

It's nothing, I swear. It's just that sometimes we..We get on each other's throat, I don't know why..

You know I love you right?

c'mon pando, why did you call me ? i know I'm really busy but i always have time for you

the problem with juan is that he thinks he can control everything. remember how he tried to control my relationships when i was a teenager. none of my boyfriends were good enough for him.

and since marco died, it's even worse. he thinks he has the right to decide what we can and cannot do, but he's wrong

you both have a fiery character, no wonder it sparks. i mean, there's nothing more, right?

love you too, always and forever, did you remember our promise ?

Well, I was kind of feeling alone today. I guess. Had a bad night.

Yeah, I totally remember. But to be honest, his girlfriends weren't that great either, so he can shut up.

It's like he wants me to go mad. To go insane and scream. He's worse though.

What? No ! Nothing going on here. Between us. Nothing. I mean, not that he would ask me to go out with him. Or that he would look at me like that, anyway.

I think about it everyday. Kind of saved my life at a time. Everyone one of you.

do you still have nightmares?

lol his girlfriends were soooo stupid. did you remember lola ? the one with the botoxed lips and a voice so high it made me want to kill myself.

god, don't make me think the worst. I mean you deserve better than my brother, pando

don't torture yourself because of him, okay? he'll come back as if nothing had happened. as always.

and I couldn't be more happy to have you.

Every night. Can't say I'm surprised.

Oh yeah, that one ! I heard her saying to your brother that I was kind of weird for not talking that much. Unfortunately, her drink ended up on her shirt, that day. I don't understand, he always had that kind of girl.

Maybe. I don't know. I mean there is something about him I can't get out off my head.

I know, but it's strange because even though we fight almost everyday, I still miss him sometimes.

I still remember that first night I went to your home. I thinking that it smelled very nice. I was so hungry, oh my god !

can't blame you. still the same here.

too bad for her. yeah, don't know. he can't stop criticizing my choices but lol he'd better learn to choose his girlfriends.

something ? what do you mean ?

feel you, i guess. i miss him too sometimes, especially when i remembered how our family was perfect before marco died. and now it looks like fucking chaos.

after years of being around my two brothers, i was really happy to have you

We should sleep together like we used too. I'm sure it would help.

I liked to play with boys back then. What a bitch I was, though.

I don't really know how to explain it but..I feel like we provoke each other just to get something. I don't want to let him go or to stop the fight. It's weird, even if we get on each other's throat, I don't want this to end. Because if we do, I don't know what's going to happen.

Yeah..You know, sometimes I wonder if it would have been different if I hadn't been there. I don't know. Back then they used to tell me I ruin everything I touch. Weren't wrong, I guess.

It was really new to me to have someone like you by my side. I always wondered how it was to have a big sister. Now I know!

yeah. still remember when i spooned you bc you were too afraid to fall asleep.

i think i know how you feel. sometimes someone can piss you off like never before and yet you can't totally walk away. like there's something holding you back, uh?

let things calm down with him, you'll see in a week he'll come back on his own. he loves you, pando, he could never really abandon you despite anger and resentment

what ? seriously, don't blame yourself. if marco was still alive, things would be different. and it's not your fault you didn't kill him.

obv, pando. and we were all happy to welcome you and help you get out of this hell

Still scared of the dark sometimes. I see him, I see them wanted to hurt me. I don't know why, it's been years.

Yeah..I'm wondering if sometimes, you're bond to someone without knowing it? Sorry, it's stupid but I just feel something for him, I don't know what it is, since the beginning.

Loves me? Oh no Eden, he doesn't love me. I don't even know what he feels, he's always so mysterious. Guess my behavior didn't help either.

I know but I can't help it. I can't help but things went south the moment your father took me in. I'm not a saint, I'm a mess. I'm..Mean. Not a good person.

I don't think I could ask for a better family than yours. You were all so..Protective. Even though I was a stranger.

because that fucking asshole traumatized you pando and unfortunately a part of you won't be able to forget. but you're stronger than you think

maybe you're right. guess you don't only meet people by chance. pandora you are freaking me out, mdr could you be in love with him, uh ? gosh don't even know why I'm asking

ofc he does, c'mon. he always protected you and said how much you meant to him

if you're a mess, me too you know. i can't help myself taking bad decisions since marco died.

my parents are so proud of you, you're like their daughter

I still remember when I stabbed him in the chest. I can hear so many screams. Even my own.

What? No ! I'm not. He's just special. Our relationship is special. Ah it's complicated, you know it Eden !

He said that? Like, he really said that I meant something to him? This bitch never told me.

I miss him. I wonder if he would be proud of us. What we would be currently doing if he was still here.

There is nothing to be proud of. I'm just really glad someone found me in the streets, barefoot, at night.

stop killing yourself with it, pls. he deserved to die, you only defended your fucking life

yeah always complicated when your heart doesn't know how to deal with feelings, uh

he did but he's too stubborn to admit it, so don't worry, okay ?

we'd all be happy if he was still with us. i wouldn't feel like i died with him.

have you seen them recently? the last time I was at home, I felt so bad that I left half-drunk

Eden, if I had been older, they would have either put me in prison or in an asylum.

I'm NOT in love with him. And he would NEVER be in love with me. You know it. I'm not the kind of girl he likes anyway. 

I will try to make him say it and I will tell you what he said. Like old times, it will be fun !

Anw Eden, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to feel like that.

Your mom texted me to say that I could have a piece of the cake she made. I went there a few days ago. Obviously they asked me how you were doing and if you were okay. I told them that I often annoyed you with my calls and texts and that it was aaaaall fine hehe.

i bet you wouldn't have liked the food in prison. okay i'm kidding, but it didn't happen, pando. you're free, that's the important thing

lol obv you're not. and thanks god. do you want to be the botoxed one ? don't try to change, especially for a man

hahaha i can already imagine his face trying not to tell the truth

don't be please.

see ? that's exactly why i love you so much, pando. thanks. the only good thing was my mother's cake yeah lol. we'll go together next time to support each other

Free is a big word. Sorry, I'm being pessimistic again..

No, of course not. I don't want to be this kind of girl but..To know that your bother could be interested is..I don't know. Special, maybe? Aaah, I'm being melodramatic, it's annoying!

Did you notice? He does something with his eyebrow when he doesn't know what to answer !

I mean it. I should be more careful with what I say.

Naah, you don't need to love me for that. I didn't want to scare them. Obviously, I know how much you can handle, so I don't worry. For now. Oh, yeah why not? I would love to eat dinner with them again. It would be nice.

don't be sorry, pando. there are always ups and downs. you only have to deal with them. and you're not alone.

you know he can be a real jerk? I'm not saying this to hurt you, but watch yourself. do you want me to ask him if he dates someone right now?

he does the same when he is embarrassed too lol

whatever you could say pando, marco is dead et no one's gonna save him.

I'll try to call my mother, then. i think she misses us and it's not easy for her every day

I know. Which is something I'm very grateful for.

I know for sure. Why do you think we fight so often aha? Don't worry about it. It will go away, eventually.

I really need to see that, then !  

Well, there is always the way you say it, you know? And sometimes, I tend to forget it. Unfortunately.

Yeah I guess so..Did you talk to you father recently though?

this is rivera mood you know, lol we argue a lot and then everything goes back to the way it was. or kinda.

he won't assume i'm sure, but we know him. that's his speciality now lol

sometimes i wish i could forget, you know. stop thinking about that night, stop hurting, stop feeling my heart being torn apart every time.

i should call him back but i know he's going to give me his opinion on how I'm handling my grief again and we'll end up fighting

Ahaha, I noticed. But it doesn't bother me. It shows your love for each other.

Yeah totally. Or maybe with a few drinks. I should try that.  

I can imagine..But it was an accident, you know? None of this was your fault. It just..Happened, even though it's really unfair.  

He's just worrying. You're his only daughter, it makes sense. He wants to protect you. However, I told him that you were handling it. That he shouldn't worry that much.

yeah obv. sometimes, I only would like to forget everything and go back in time. fix everything with them...

lol with few drinks I'm damn wild, so if you're like me....good luck Juan. (gosh don't want to imagine that scene)

an accident yeah and i can't help myself hating that bloody fate. i miss him pando, I miss him so hard that I can't breath every fucking times.

I know...I'm still his little baby girl. he just wants to help me but i'm too hurt to accept it and my shitty mood doesn't help.